The Blue Candle Society

I had cause to re-caulk my shower recently, and it put me in mind of writing.  One might think that all sorts of things put me in mind of writing, the way I go on, but keep in mind this is a blog primarily concerned with writing.  Go read my Hungarian folk music blog and you’ll see that a lot of things put me in mind of pentatonic kaval formations, too.

But anyway.  Laying down a bead of caulk always sort of makes me think of writing a short story.  Not so much the beginning part, where I try to get the gun going and send caulk all over the place, or the middle part, where things always seem to go pretty well.  But at the end comes the time where I smooth it out, nice and neat.  Then comes the time when I look at it and think that there is one place where it didn’t quite come out perfect and I wonder if I should try to add some more caulk to tidy it up.  And then it turns out that gently adding a blob of caulk just makes things worse, and the whole section ends up slightly worse than it was before I tried to improve it.  So I try again, cleaning off bits and adding more and so on, and end up with something that may or may not be better than it was when I first started improving, but is at least different.  That’s the part that reminds me of writing short stories.

Posted in General writing things, Metaphor!

Oh, and I guess I can't deal with those weeds like I was planning to any day now, either. Thanks a lot, turtle

So, I have a good old-fashioned gravelly driveway, not one of your modern paved jobs, and some stupid turtle has decided to bury some eggs in it, in what is probably the second-worst place around here I could think to stick them (the worst would be a few feet over, under where I actually drive over all the time).

The only good news, as you can see from the photo and the fact that the little bugger’s head has completely disappeared, is that it is a Painted Turtle (temperament: docile, wary) and not a snapping turtle (temperament: crazed mad bastard finger eater).  The last turtle I had nest next to my house was one of those, and it is a pain having some turtle hissing and snapping at you whenever you walk by.  But now I suppose I have to be careful driving in, lest I drive over a turtle visiting her nest, or worse yet, little baby turtles, neither of which are known for their ability to dodge oncoming vehicles.

Posted in Uncategorized

“I can’t recall if you take coffee or tea, Mr. Quinn,” Mabel said.

“I am offended, Mabel, long as I’ve been coming here. I thought I’d have made more of an impression.”

“You’ve only been in town three days, Mr. Quinn. Most of my customers have been coming in here every day for twenty years or more. Besides you spend all of your time sweet-talking Betsy, and she hardly ever lets me even bring you a glass of water.”

“Aw, well, Betsy’s a nice girl, and I try to be polite and all, but we both know you’re the reason I keep coming back here.”

Mabel shook her head. “You aren’t the first salesman to come in here, Mr. Quinn.”

Jefferson smiled. “Maybe everyone who ain’t a salesman just gets tongue-tied around you, darlin’. Coffee, please.” Continue reading ‘Serial Saturday: The Figurine, Part 7’

Posted in Serials

Like many finer points of grammar, it can be difficult for neophytes to know when to use “who” and when to use “whom”, so I present a link to the great James Thurber making it all clear.

Posted in Grammar Gripery

Chipper stood and strode from the study without a word, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor as soon as she’d cleared the threshold of the carpeted room. After a few seconds, Jefferson stood and wandered over to the bookshelf. He browsed the titles for a time, sipping his bourbon, until a squeaking and rumbling noise made him turn.

Chipper pushed a wheelchair through the doorway. She had a moment’s difficulty in getting it over the threshold and onto the carpet of the study, but Jefferson was too startled to help. Continue reading ‘Serial Saturday: The Figurine, Part 6’

Posted in Serials

In honor of the second season of Sherlock finally hitting American shores: Otters Who Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch

Posted in Uncategorized

A useful linguistics lesson from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal:

Posted in Uncategorized

The previous time Jefferson had been at the old house up on the hill, the butler had been a military man, but since his last service had been in the war between the states it had been a bit of a struggle for the man to maintain a martial bearing. The new butler who opened the door for Jefferson looked like someone who knew a thing or two about scrapping too, and was a lot more ready to set to it at a moment’s notice, since he was a much younger man. He wasn’t built to fit in the suit he’d been crammed into, in Jefferson’s judgment.

“Yes?”

Jefferson had a feeling the butler was a bit put out by his inability to loom over his guest. “Here to see Miss Tacy.”

“Are you expected?”

Jefferson rubbed his chin. “Well, she ain’t often surprised. But we didn’t set up an appointment, if that’s what you mean.”

Continue reading ‘Serial Saturday: The Figurine, Part 5’

Posted in Serials

Whenever I submit something to Fantasy and Science Fiction, packing something into an envelope to send to Hoboken via surface mail to meet their quaint submission requirements, I can’t help but think of Bugs Bunny at the end of “8 Ball Bunny” when he realizes that the baby penguin he has worked so hard to get to Antarctica was actually born in Hoboken.  I literally can’t print the mailing label without saying “HoBOken!” with the emphasis on the second syllable like Bugs does.  It never fails to cheer me up.  Perhaps that’s why they don’t allow online submissions.

Posted in General writing things

Posted in General writing things